Pondering Jonathan’s friendship to David prompted me to challenge the men of Grace Fellowship Church to actively seek male-to-male friendships. I gave my brothers some quick advice on how to do it and here it is for you.
1. Aristotle said, “He who has many friends, has none.” There is truth in what he was saying if you understand him to mean that a man who has a thousand shallow relationships is much poorer than the one who has a few deep ones. David had only Jonathan. Sure, he had the mighty men and all, but there was something unique about his relationship to Jonathan. True friends are rare, so don’t get tricked into thinking quantity is the same as quality.
2. Loyalty and love go together. You will not develop deep friendships until you learn to live loyally. I have sinned against every one of my best friends and I cannot imagine how the relationship would have survived if they had not been loyal, like Jonathan was to David. Learn loyalty now by, well, being loyal!
3. Initiate. Why do men sit around watching football instead of calling up a brother and building a friendship? Stop waiting around for somebody else to pursue you and act like a man – initiate.
4. Fear of man destroys friendships. If you are not dealing with your heart idolatries you will have a hard time building deeply into another’s life. Be the best Christian you can be and God may provide a very good friend.
5. Never lose sight of the Friend of Sinners. He will teach you all you need to know about befriending other men.